Becoming a Buddy: The Quiet Power of Showing Up

Some of the most meaningful volunteering doesn't happen at a big event or helping out at your local food bank. It happens over coffee, on a  slow walk through the park, or a visit to The Haagse Markt. This is what it means to be a buddy: to offer someone your steady presence, week after week, and to let an ordinary friendship do something extraordinary.

Being a buddy is one of the simplest forms of volunteering, and also one of the most powerful. You don't need special qualifications or a background in social work. You need time, patience, and a genuine willingness to connect with another person. In return, you often gain far more than you expected. To be a buddy through a Dutch non-profit organisation, you usually must apply for a certificate of conduct (Verklaring Omtrent het Gedrag, VOG) as you would be helping a vulnerable person.

Who needs a buddy?

There are many people who could use a friendly, reliable companion, and buddy programmes exist to match volunteers with those who would benefit most.

You might become a buddy for someone who feels lonely. Loneliness can affect anyone, at any age, and it rarely announces itself. A person recovering from illness, or someone who has recently lost a partner may go days without a real conversation. A weekly visit or call can break that silence and remind them that they matter. Many people who grew up in The Netherlands are fluent in English, sometimes in German or French as well. It would be interesting for them to converse with someone who can compare life in The Netherlands and another country. Expect to learn new perspectives and better understand why things are done a certain way in The Netherlands. You will likely find some shared interests or experience of having grown up in the countryside or big city. You could be playing chess, visiting museums or going for a walk in the woods of The Hague. A local would know about the many free or affordable cultural events in the region.

You might choose to be a buddy for an elderly person. As people grow older, their social circles often shrink. Friends pass away, children move to other cities, and mobility becomes harder. For an older person, a regular visitor to share stories, play a game of cards, or simply sit with over tea can be the highlight of the week. And the stories you hear in return, decades of life, history, and hard-won wisdom, are a gift in themselves. Several retirement homes in The Hague area look for volunteers to go on a group walk with their residents who are in a wheelchair. What a nice way for them to chit chat outdoors with you breaking the boredom of only spending time in their rooms and cafeterias.

You might support a refugee who is new to The Hague. Arriving in a new country is disorienting: an unfamiliar language, a maze of paperwork, customs that feel strange, and few people to turn to. As a buddy who speaks their mother tongue, you could help them understand how to navigate public transport. You become a bridge into a new life, and often a friend who shows that this new place can feel like home.

Some people volunteer as a buddy for a child. Some children grow up without enough positive attention, or face challenges at home that make life heavier than it should be. A dependable adult, someone who turns up, listens, and cheers them on, can make a lasting difference. You don't have to fix anything. You just have to be there, consistently, in a way a child can count on. This is especially suitable if you already speak Dutch and have had children who were educated in the Dutch school system.

What does a buddy actually do?

The honest answer is: not much, and everything. Buddies go for walks, share meals, help with small practical tasks, attend appointments, or simply talk. The activities are almost beside the point. What matters is the relationship, the sense that someone has chosen to spend time with you, without being paid to and without being obliged to.

Most buddy programmes ask for a modest but regular commitment, often an hour or two a week over several months. That consistency is the whole idea. Trust is built slowly, and the value of a buddy grows the longer you stay.

What you gain

People often sign up to give something, and are surprised by how much they receive. Buddies describe a deep sense of purpose, new perspectives on life, and friendships that cross generations and cultures. Helping someone else has a way of putting your own worries into proportion, and few things feel better than knowing you've genuinely brightened another person's week. There's also good evidence that connection benefits both sides. The person being supported feels less isolated, and the volunteer often reports feeling happier and more grounded too.

Taking the first step

If any of this resonates, look for a buddy or volunteer organisation in your area through the Volunteer The Hague online volunteer vacancy bank or at one of our in-person events. Many run a short intake conversation and offer training and support, so you're never on your own. You'll be matched thoughtfully, with someone whose needs fit what you can offer.

You don't have to change the whole world. You just have to show up for one person. Often, that's more than enough.